When it comes to getting stuff done… we put the “PRO” in Procrastination. Instead of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Call Me Lazy!”
I made a vow to myself
To try & work on my Health
I bid all sweets a Farewell,
After this ONE last cake…
So many things on my List,
I need to do, but Resist
I Cross my Heart & Insist
“This time for sure, Monday!”
Laundry, Ain’t Folded
Clean Fridge, Food is Molded
Trash Can, Overflowed it
I’ll Do it Tomorrow, MAYBE?
I’ve got some Work due, the Boss is waiting
I’ll Send that email, once I’m done tweeting
I Bought a Goldfish, that needed feeding…
But now he’s into, Inverted Sleeping!
I met a Shih Tzu, a bite it gave me
I skipped the Doctor, Now I’ve Got Rabies!?
Just like your Delta Flighht, I keep Delaying
I put the “pro” in… Procrastinating!
“I’ll Do the dishes after one more episode of Love Island, i swear…”
My mother Gave me a Call
I Hit Ignore on ‘em All
We spoke ten minutes Last Fall
So yea, I need My Space
I planned to rent a fifth wheel,
And see this Country For Real
Then watched some “Lets Make a Deal”
and Never Left my Driveway
Date Night Was Goin’
Plan B, I was Holdin’
Forgot, the Next Morning…
Now we got a Whoopsie-Baby!
Lights on my Dashboard, Ignore ’em daily
Like Guy Fieri, MY Car is FLAMIN’!
My Insurance just Expired, in 2018!
Sure, I’ll Make Plans But… You Know, I’m Flakin’
Blockbuster Rental, I Bet they Hate me
They’d Be in Business, If I’d paid MY Late Fees
I got so many probs, more than JAY-Z!
K fine, I’ll Fix em, Unless it’s Rainy
On Christmas Morning I wake up while screaming “OH CRAP!”
Forgot to gift wrap!
Stuffed em in Glad Trash bags!
I’ll Just Febreeze Myself again, I dont need No baths!
Don’t live my life Fast
I’m like a mule, Half-Assed!
(Jessica, I am going to propose to you, but we’ve only been together like what? Eight or Nine years?… like C’mon, that’s kinda quick)
Hey! I’m in Debt but, It doesn’t Faze Me!
You don’t Get Stress Lines, When You’re This Lazy!
In June I Planned some beach body Training
Now Summer’s Over, and I’m Beached Whaling
Coulda bought some Apple Stock, back in the 80s!
Instead, I Waited, Don’t Procrasti-Shame me!
I just need a little time, and I’ll get on that!
I’ll Get those Holes Patched… in 3, 2, 1 Months max!
Swear I’m not Brushing this off, I’ve just been so Slammed!
Hit Every Traffic Jam!
Don’t Call me LAZY!